Thursday, December 3, 2009

'Hobgoblins'... words can't describe the crapitude

Hobgoblins (1987)
Starring: Tom Bartlett
Director: Rick Sloane
Rating: 0 Stars

When the world's most incompetent night watchman allows a group of diminutive, furry aliens to escape from the film vault of a bankrupt studio, it's up to security-guard trainee Kevin (Bartlett) to capture or kill the creatures before the sun rises and they kill everyone in the city.

"Hobgoblins" is perhaps the very worst of the wave of "small killer creatures" movies that began with "Gremlins" (and included much better examples of the sub-genre than this one, which even makes "Ghoulies" look like a cinematic masterpiece).

There is absolutely nothing to recommend this movie--the creatures are badly done, the actors are are so bad that even the lame creature puppets are better performers, the "sets" are pathetic, and the script is so bad that if it wasn't for the creature puppets and some extremely badly used stock footage, I'd suspect it was ad-libbed as the cameras were rolling.

Whether intended as a spoof of the "small killer creatures" genre, or an honest attempt at a humorous horror movie, "Hobgoblins" fails utterly.

(Oh, and if you're a T&A kinda guy, don't get fooled by the DVD edition with a busty babe on the cover. No one in the movie ever appears dressed like that. And the hobgoblins here are most definitely NOT party animals.)

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