Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Another film that makes you wonder why

Scream Bloody Murder
(aka "Matthew", "Claw of Terror" and "The Captive Woman")(1973)

Starring: Fred Holbert, Leigh Mitchell, and Angus Scrimm
Director: Marc B. Ray
Rating: One of Ten Stars

A demented freak (Holbert) with an Oedipus complex that extends to every couple (or hooker and john) he meets, goes on a killing spree.

You have to wonder why some films get made. This is one of those movies. The acting is okay on the part of the leads, the dialogue is even acceptable in most places, but it's still one of the most pointless pieces of trash to be resurrected from the Drive-In dung-heap to the cheap, massive collections of movies on DVD.

Watch out for this one under its akas, especially if you're buying single movies. You will not get your money's worth if there isn't something else in the package that this crappy little picture comes in.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Consign this one to the graveyard of forgotten films

Graveyard of Horror (aka "Necrophagus" and "The Butcher of Binbrook") (1971)
Starring: Bill Curran, John Clark, Titania Clement, and Beatriz Lacy
Director: Miguel Madrid (or Michael Skaife, depending on the info source)
Rating: One of Ten Stars

When Michael (Curran) sets out to uncover the mystery surrounding the death of his wife, he comes into conflict with her evil, crazy sisters, a bizarre grave-robbing cult, and the lizard-monster they serve. Then, random stuff happens, random flashback scenes occur, and the movie makes less and sense as it progresses toward its lame ending.

The DVD back-cover copy (which shows that even the marketeers couldn't stand this piece of trash, as it has virtually nothing to do with the "story" of the film) starts "A little-seen and bizarre movie..." Well, some movies are little seen because they aren't worth seeing, and "Graveyard of Horror" is one of those.

I suspect there's a plot somewhere in this film, but I sure as hell couldn't find it. Leave this awful film (with its bad dubbing, awful editing, bad camera work and laughable lizard-man monster costume) in the graveyard of forgotten movies.

(Note: The film is getting a very generous One Star, because it DID keep me watching to the end. I watched with morbid curiosity to see if it could get any worse. In that, "Graveyard of Horror" didn't dissapoint: It's one steady downward slide into crapitude.)

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Help me see good points in this movie

The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave (1971)
Starring: Anthony Steffan and Erika Blanc
Director: Emilio Marigilia
Rating: One of Ten Stars

A nobleman (Steffen) is released from an insane asylum... only to find himself haunted by the ghost of his dead wife as he starts getting his life back together. Will he end up back in the booby-hatch, or will the secret behind the restless spirit be uncovered in time to save him?

I've seen some pretty bad movies, and "The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave" ranks up (down?) there with the worst of them. First, the restless spirit is being caused by the most cliched of causes in this kind of film. Second, the character with whom we are expected to sympathize is an active, masochistic serial killer who is picking up hookers and torturing them to death in his estate. Finally, the attempts at twists in the film (even beyond the "shocking" truth behind the walking ghost of Evelyn) are pretty much all so lame and goofy when viewed in the context of the "hero's" murderous actions that one has to wonder if anyone saw the entire script during production.

The thing I find most mystifying about "The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave" is that I've actually seen positive reviews of it. Now, I realize that there are few things as subjective as A&E reviews, but I can't fathom that anyone could say anything nice about this utterly awful film (other than, maybe, "Erika Blanc is easy on the eyes.")

If you know of what appeals to audiences about this film, I'd love to hear your viewpoint.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Despite title, this movie is demon free

Demon Seduction (aka "Demon Sex") (2005)
Starring: Vesper Almasy, Tuesday Coren, Toby Dammit and Brinke Stevens
Director: Greg Lewolt
Rating: Two of Ten Stars

A cult of women that has kept the secret of aliens who once ruled humanity down through ages is on the verge of recreating those aliens through modern genetic engineering technology and the pregnant friend of an exotic dancer (Almasy).

"Demon Seduction" is a film that could have been very cool. It's got alien conspiracies, evil witch cultists, genetic engineering run wild... it could have been an episode of "The X-Files" on PCP crossed with an issue of "Weekly World News" in its Golden Age brought to glorious life.

Unfortunatley, while all the elements are there, this film is not cool. It's not even fun. Most of its running time is spent on weak and very unerotic sex scenes (which, I suppose makes them very realistic... real sex is boring for anyone but the participants) and static scenes with actors sitting around delivering bad dialogue that's made worse by their bad delivery.

The only things about this film that were remotely decent was an alien skull prop--that was way too cool to just be used for this film; I hope that it found its way into other movies--and some of the CGI effects.

Unless you're really hard up for naked flesh and/or like seeing some blood and gore with your naked women, there is nothing here that's worth your money and time. The ONLY way you should acquire this movie would be as part of the "Tomb of Terrors 50 Movie Pack" (where it's included under the title "Demon Sex"), because you'll be getting 49 other low-budget horror flicks, including the fairly decent "The Traveler", "The Somnambulists", and "Strange Things Happen at Sundown". (You either can or will eventually be able to reviews of most of the films in the collection either here on at the companion blog
Terror Titans.)

You do not want to pay full price for "Demon Seduction" by itself unless, maybe, you're renting it as part of your Netflix selection for a month.

(I feel a bit awkward panning this movie. The summary and title on the Brain Damage Films website sounded so interesting that I begged my way into a screening copy. I wish it had been better, because I would have loved to return the distributor's generosity with a favorable review.)